freedom for the faithful

"My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin." – Job 14:17

When i read Job 14 yesterday that one verse reminded me of Wilderness– a week-long backpacking trip, put on by Young Life, in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. This is kind of gross, but i'll share anyway. During this wonderfully exhausting week, me and eleven other city girls had to humble ourselves to conditions we weren't exactly used to, including no showers or deodorant, one change of clothes, sleeping on a mat under a tarp, and carrying our meals on our backs. Along with meals, we carried a gallon-sized ziplock bag that was completely covered in duct tape. This was used to hold toilet paper, since we were out in the mountains and couldn't leave anything behind. The duct tape made sure the bag didn't tear and made it not transparent. Maybe i just figured that duct tape bag was what it looked like
for God to seal up my offenses.

Job wasn't talking about a bag of toilet paper when he speaks to God in this chapter. Job was a honest, righteous man who loved the Lord and was very prosperous until, "unknown to him, Job was involved in a cosmic test" (NIV Student Bible, Job intro). Satan believed Job only loved God because of the gifts He had given him, so God allowed Satan to take everything away, knowing Job would remain faithful. After raiders took his belongings and slaughtered his servants, fire from the sky burned his sheep; then winds destroyed his house and killed his family. Lastly Job got a painful disease as he sat in the ashes of his life. His friends came but provided no comfort, so he listened to their lies and replied to them and to God with questioning and hurt, but never betrayal of trust in his Lord's plans.

One thing Job's friends didn't hold back was their belief that God was punishing Job for some hidden sin in his life. They doubted his story although Job knew he was innocent.

"All the days of my hard service i will wait for my release to come.
You will call and i will answer you; 
you will long for the creature your hands have made. 
Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sins." 
– Job 14:14-16

This is right before he says his offenses will be sealed in a bag. Job trusts that God is not done with him yet. That God will call on his precious handmade creature and guide him to safety. Multiple times Job refers to this rescue mission without knowing that Jesus is coming. He knew that his God was big enough to make a bag where no one could see the contents and that wouldn't break or be too small.

i can't believe i complained about carrying that gallon bag for a few days after comparing it to the burden Christ carried for us. We're broken and dirty and God sacrificed His Son in order to wash us clean.

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved 
and those who are perishing." 
– 2 Corinthians 2:15

God sees us as the subtle quality of Jesus: the fragrance or atmosphere of His workmanship on Earth.

the unpredictable path of obedience

Among the many powerful moments that occurred on my Spring Break trip, one encounter with a stranger stands out as a lesson straight from God.

It was right after our first club {gathering with skits, games, worship and a message} and my roommate was sick so i headed up to our room to check on her. i stepped into the elevator, Bible in hand, and the only man accompanying me asked what i had in my hand. He clearly knew what it was, but when he first saw and realized i shared his beliefs he had to ask– as a lead-in to the topic that was elatedly overflowing from his heart. He proceeded to tell me about how, long story short, that day he had told part of his testimony to someone who, in turn, accepted Jesus. i was delighted to share in his joy and as i left the elevator we introduced ourselves and i told him, Josh, that i would pray for this new believer's future.

Sweet story, but God wasn't through with Josh in my life yet. So every morning all 300 of us UT students met up in the hotel ballroom and then split into our set groups of about 10 people to have a time to discuss what we were learning and experiencing. We were impossible to avoid, spread throughout the hotel and on the beach as well. During our discussion, i felt a tap on the shoulder and turned around to see Josh standing there. He apologized for interrupting but asked if he could talk to me. We stepped away and started talking about the importance of obeying when we feel the Lord calling us to action. He wasn't sure how he would possibly see me again but something told him he would. He told me that his wife had been trying to start a Bible study back at home– that it was hard and that she hadn't had luck with the people she was contacting and that she was discouraged. He said she was a wonderful woman of God and he believed she was capable of leading but that for some reason he thought God wanted to use me to encourage her. It still takes my breath away to even type that out. 

He handed me a note with my name on it and his wife, Brittany's contact information. i took it and expressed how honored i was to possibly be used by God to help a stranger establish a community in a state i didn't even live in. i went back to my circle and later as he carried his last bag out to his car to leave, he laid a beautiful pink flower on my Bible. My group was thrilled to hear such a random story the Lord was orchestrating. Not long after this, he showed up again saying he wrote down the wrong email address! He told his wife he had to turn the car around and come back to the hotel,
and i ended up getting to meet Brittany and their baby as well.

This family blessed me in ways they didn't even know. My mind told me to be cautious because of common knowledge about interacting with strangers, but my heart told me to trust God and follow the steps He was laying before me, steps to have faith and obey. After meeting Brittany i couldn't understand how i would be of any help to her. But then i reminded myself it wasn't me or my wisdom that would be spoken. What a relief! If anything, it is the Spirit in me. A friend pointed me to read Job and what this book is teaching me blows my mind. In it a young man approaches Job {a "blameless and upright" man who had been given much and then had everything stripped painfully away}, to give him counsel after Job's friends cannot honestly comfort him.

"i am young in years, and you are old; that is why i was fearful, not daring to tell you what i know. i thought 'age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right." - Job 32:6-9

So now i get the privilege of praying for this family and hopefully seeing what happens. i know God's timing is perfect, because when i went to find my sick roommate, i passed the place where she was and mindlessly got in that elevator. Then the elevator took us to the wrong floor, which allowed Josh time to tell his story. He then found me among all 300 kids as he left his vacation. None of this is a coincidence! We were created by a God who also created solar systems and DNA. From the most infinite to the most intricate things that have ever existed. So to believe that He doesn't put people in our lives for a reason is like believing that gravity doesn't exist. We can pretend to float around, but we can't avoid God's ultimate and beautifully woven plan for our lives.

being light {..pun}

This past week was Spring Break and i had the privilege to go to Destin, FL with UT Young Life. i had heard stories about how amazing it would be.. this year was the biggest group yet to go, and God definitely showed up in incredibly big ways.

He was especially present to me personally because of a little choice my friend and i made– we broke the norm and wore one-pieces on the beach all week. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal but in my mind it was a hard sacrifice. Why did we do it? i asked myself every time i saw a cute bikini and passed the area where girls tanned each day. Before the trip, it took me a while to really believe that it wasn't pointless or crazy but once i wrote out my thoughts, prayed, and talked to a couple of my guy friends, i felt firm in my reasoning. i was doing it for guys, for girls, and for myself. Guys can't help but be visual– something i may not know much about but i do know enough to feel convicted to help them out. Wearing a one-piece can help relieve the battle that's so present in their minds. "To us there is no difference between you in your underwear and you in your bikini. It's hard to see a girl in a bikini and think, 'wow God is great' and start worshiping Him." i'm so thankful for my friends' honesty because with how normal bikinis are, it's so easy to forget the overall image. i hesitated in the decision because i was afraid of appearing condescending, like other girls in two-pieces didn't care about their brothers in Christ as much as i did– which is completely false. But after going through this week i can joyfully and confidently say that my original uncertainty was irrelevant, because since i figured out why i was doing what i was doing i had no fear and God filled me with assurance, which overflowed and showed my motivation. That's why i never felt like i was coming off as self-righteous: a response which would have only pushed people away.

Another reason to wear my one-piece was directed at girls. We may not be quite so visual, but comparison can be equally as sinful and destructive as lusting. Looking through the windows of Victoria's Secret at huge posters of barely-clothed women can make a girl compare herself and wish she looked differently. In Ephesians 2 Paul says, "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus." So comparing ourselves and wishing we look different is criticizing our Lord's artwork that He cherishes and finds great joy in. It's like a slap in His face! Or looking at someone else could have the opposite affect; it would still cause comparison but in a prideful way– for example, a subconscious thought of, "i'm in better shape than she is." Comparison and pride. What a deadly combination.

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
- Colossians 3:5,17

Whether you look at someone else and feel better or worse about yourself, it is all destructive because we are putting our worth in it. That makes appearance an idol: something that holds more importance to us than Jesus. Last year there is no way i would've sacrificed my two-pieces, and i can't promise that i always will, but by doing it now maybe God spoke through me.. a message about not being of this world and about loving others above myself by not wearing something that could potentially hurt someone's heart. i definitely had to rely on Jesus this past week because if He wasn't the center of my focus i would have failed. i had to make sure i was not envying other girls for cute swim suits or attention from guys. i couldn't be prideful and i couldn't doubt myself. Hopefully someone appreciated what i did but if not, i still got to challenge myself for the Lord. And it was fun! i may have gotten weird tan lines but i spent my time playing and not worrying about what i looked like. Kind of a freeing feeling.

"i consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 3:8

i agree with Paul's statement above. The gains of the world equal a loss to me because of how great the gains are when i'm living for Jesus.