Spirit of truth

A few days ago i changed my Facebook profile picture to a bright, sunflower-y picture with a caption along the lines of "i miss the simplicity and wonder i felt in this picture last summer and Jesus is so generous to give me those memories."

To me, this was genuine and true and socially acceptable until i let satan get the best of me. A friend commented how typical it was, and i laughed in my head but then started thinking about what "typical" could mean: standard; here we go again; not another one. It was a downward spiral and i was suddenly self-conscious that people were viewing my vocality of joy as obnoxious, fake or annoying. And i did not want to be any of those things because all misrepresent my Jesus.

Thankfully i did realize, like i just said, that satan had tried to ruin my innocent intentions of posting the picture, so i banished him from my thoughts. i felt silly for letting him infiltrate such a small piece of my day as a Facebook picture, but really what he had done was made me doubt myself and scrutinize my own image where it wasn't needed.

John says there is a Spirit of truth (that would be the Holy Spirit) and a spirit of falsehood (which he calls the spirit of the antichrist). He laments that many deceivers have infiltrated our world, animated by this spirit of falsehood. A sobering picture. He urges us to pay close attention, because that spirit works by presenting distorted images of Jesus.

That was John Eldredge's take on 1 John 4:1-6, which is about testing the spirits. Many deceivers have infiltrated our world. They easily infiltrate my head and my heart too which is why i need John's warning.

i am confident of my identity in Jesus, so maybe i should take it as a compliment that satan sees that identity as well and wants to wreck it.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-2

my chains are gone {photo by Layne Hutcheson}

rescued again and again

i looked around the dimly-lit coffee shop and noticed the gazes between couples, separated only by small white mugs and steam. i noticed Ben and Annie's special hand-hold in the car as we passed the twinkling holiday lights of downtown. i noticed how my heart was hurting but i couldn't figure out why.

Driving us home, Ben slowed to a stop as the railroad crossing bar lowered and we saw the headlights approaching. This was when i started laughing, and the built-up tears spilled over. {it's a good thing Ben and Annie know and love me, or else i might have seemed rather weird / unstable}

My best friend and Savior, the One know knows me best, the true Love of my life had {once again} finally got my attention! He knows that trains are "my thing"... that every time i see a train i pray... so naturally that would be the perfect way to remind me that on my busy Saturday i had, once again, forgotten about Him! Running around Christmas shopping i had even forgotten to eat that day, much less get on my knees and thank Him for this season of his birth. 

As quick as that train came and went, my heart felt free and light and merry. How does it still leave me awestruck that He really does answer prayers? My prayer: Lord, please make my soul heavy, make my spirit feel off if i place anything over You. His answer: I'm the one gazing into your eyes and holding your hands, even when you forget about Me. Here is the heavy spirit you asked for, but look here I Am! Now be free.

In C.S. Lewis' novels, Aslan quietly guides and provides the children with just what they need for their adventures in Narnia. Similarly my Father, the Creator and Artist of everything, enjoys revealing himself and coming to my aid in the most creative, playful, personal ways.

prodigal

i've tasted Your Glory and i left it there.
you poured out Your Spirit and i didn't care. still You loved me

nothing compares to what You've done for me

my heart has been broken, i've laid out my shame

so i'll tell of Your Story, i'll carry Your Name

i'll live for Your Glory, Lord i'll share in Your Pain

just to love You
– Michael Gungor Band, "Prodigal"

This song. This story.
A younger son asks for his inheritance, says "hey dad, give me my money.. i'm gonna do things my own way. i'm done here." {that would hurt my feelings if i were the dad.. but he lets his son go anyway} So the son goes nuts and ends up homeless, starving, low, broken, empty.

"After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need." - Luke 15:14

i'm thinking about the stories in AA meetings that i've had the privilege to hear: moments of rock bottom redemption. i'm thinking of everyone who has the chance to hear the Gospel but chooses to live for themselves instead. i'm thinking of myself and how i'm no different because i, too, have fallen just as short and have hit that point of desperation. It's easy to coast along when life is fair, not needing a savior, but when we lose our grip is when we desire to cling to Truth and Hope.

i look back at the seasons where i am so in need of sovereign help, so quick to obey and appreciate, and i long to be there again. My life is in order these days, therefore i need to be cautious of who's getting the glory and be reminded of who's hand gets me through each day.

i'm thankful for mistakes and heartbreaks because they now point me toward a dependency that's not only healthy but HOLY. i'm thankful for the younger son, who humbly returns to his Good Father, expecting punishment {which is only natural for human minds to assume} but receiving open arms and abundant GRACE {which only a Limitless Creator and an Unconditional Love could concoct}.

Nothing compares to what You've done for me.

"We had to celebrate! He was lost and is found."