spirit-whispers

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory..."

glory: high renown or honor won by notable achievements
To him be the glory for anything and everything that becomes of my life.

O lifter of my head, I look to you and I give up my fear, timidity, self-doubt, complacency, comparison, selfishness. I believe. Help my unbelief. How easy it is to settle for ordinary and safety and the familiar-- but how many blessings am I giving up when I pass up a risk?

Risk should be opportunity. Opportunity is a gift.

"You will have plenty of God-ordained opportunities. Your job is to see and seize those opportunities by tuning in to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. And you'll be amazed at the way those spirit-whispers get you where God wants you to go." { In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day }

Tune my heart to see your spirit-whispers!

On June 14th, a world of possibility opened in my life. Well really it began about four weeks before then, but on June 14th I was above the Atlantic Ocean on a plane returning from Lusaka, Zambia. My time there was spent learning about Zambia's education system and loving on Zambia's unclaimed children.

Before that trip I was secretly cynical toward African orphan mission work: calling it trendy, rolling my eyes, and saying it just wasn't my thing. But God tends to choose people like me for a heart-change and wow is it humbling and exciting and terrifying when he does. I like to think of it as a parallel situation to what God did with that stubborn, self-righteous dude named Saul. He was struck blind while walking through a desert (on his way to persecute people who fought to make Jesus' name known), and told by a mighty, undeniable voice that he was to change his lifestyle and fight for what he once disdained. Sounds kinda like the spirit-whisper I'm hearing.

And then God used Paul to travel thousands of miles, establish churches, write half of the New Testament and much more. So why do I choose to believe that others are more useful than I am? That's the enemy trying to stop God's never-ending winning streak. God loves using people who are unlikely to be used because it is proof of His existence and His power and His affection!

I don't want to live vicariously through other people's stories of God's power!

No more silence; no more fear of committing to too much and risking failure. I finally have a glimpse of direction, aka a dream. I want to go, whether it's to Zambia or Uganda or somewhere not yet revealed to me, and teach. On June 14th I thought that meant to teach kids, but I've realized I would also love to empower local people by teaching them how to become teachers themselves. Teachers who have hope for their students that is founded on the solid rock of Christ. What if I went somewhere that this was not yet established, and paired with an organization that sponsors orphan children to give them an education. I could branch off and have adults sponsored to get teaching and ministry certificates. I could start schools and bring hope and love through education. I believe I could do it, because I have a God that is limitless living inside me. Oh, but my stomach drops as I type this. Fear of what people think, of what I have to lose, of what happens if I fail. But I can't get this dream out of my head... so I'll quit being silent and I'll start living out this dream, baby steps at a time, even if I have no idea what could happen. Yeah I'm uncertain of what my future holds, but I am certain of the One holds it.

"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation." - Oswald Chambers

God, blow my mind! 
I come to you with breathless expectation. 
I have nothing to offer, but I will do whatever you want me to do.