defending the gospel

i felt unsettled yesterday as i passed the man standing at the busy edge of campus shouting at students. i couldn't hear him over the sounds of the street behind him but the message i did receive made my heart stop. Two older women sat to the side of him holding signs that read "you deserve hell" and "outside of marriage and homo-sex: all lust no love." My friends and i stood and watched for a couple minutes and i could feel the pounding inside me that has been happening when i know the Spirit is moving there. i had seen people on campus before, yelling "repent" at the students who scurried by and laughed or rolled their eyes. 

But i had never involved myself before.

Confrontational evangelism. That was her answer when i asked the woman what they were doing. "Being 'in your face', telling kids that sin means hell." She had traveled all over the country doing it for 34 years, and when i (respectfully) asked if she had ever seen a student come to Jesus she said once a "homo" had accepted Christ. When my friend asked the other woman about her "you deserve hell" sign, i heard her respond defensively with "Do you know what the book of Acts is about?" i was getting overwhelmed at the situation but felt strangely calm at the same time.

"Whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more 

in knowledge and depth of insight..." - Philippians 1:7-9

The woman knew more scripture than i did, and she made sure i was aware of that. A couple other students gathered and the tension increased. When i saw that the back of her sign said "Jesus saves" i asked why she didn't show that side. i said that her sign made it sound like there was no answer to our problem. She said it wasn't that easy and the students like me needed to hear the cold, hard truth. She asked if i lived in sin, and when i replied that i sin every day but strive to live for Jesus, she called me a hypocrite and told me i deserved hell too. When i agreed that i deserve hell she didn't know what to say, except that she hadn't sinned in years. Don't we all sin and fall short of the glory of God? Isn't that why Jesus came, so that we might accept His grace and live a life eternally with Him? She told me to repent like she had long ago, and then i might be a Christian.. i told her i was already saved, and that i repent every day, praying for God to reveal my sins to me in order that i would grow from it. i believe that the closer to Jesus we become, the more important it is to repent– not the less we need to. Because we can see just how broken we are and how great He is, and we are convicted to put old ways behind us. If she is without sin, doesn't that disqualify Jesus: the perfect sacrifice and only answer powerful enough to cover our human failures? i told her i respected her desire to spread the gospel, but that it seemed to be lacking the undeniable love that Jesus radiated. Sure, Jesus received responses similar to the cussing and hand signs i saw happening, but He did not come to condemn the world, he came to save it (John 3:17).

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." - 1 Peter 3:15-16

When an argument with another believer sprang up, i pulled out my Bible and opened to John 8, in which Jesus says to an adulteress, "Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin." What a sweet reminder that i wasn't crazy, and what i was saying defended the gospel. She told me she wasn't listening to anything i said, and i wished she would, like Paul (the author of the Philippians verse above), "share in God's grace with me." Paul longed, with the affection of Jesus, for the people to share in the abundant life he had found. This method of confrontational evangelism without love seemed to lack the appealing charm that drew sinners to Jesus. The woman was challenged with more scripture, so she walked away from us and stood twenty feet away, holding her sign and texting.

A student named Xavier had been standing next to her the whole time and now started talking to me. Xavier was not a Christian but told me that what i had done was cool. i asked if he saw all Christians as harsh and stubborn, and he said no– he believed that love was what separated his definition. When i asked who he thought Jesus was, he explained to me that he thought Jesus' stories were metaphors about how to live morally-right lives. i told him i believed Jesus had walked the earth and that He was God's son who had come to die so that we might live. Xavier and i showed mutual respect and we talked about the evangelists some more before realizing we had been there for an hour. i asked if he would pray with me, so together with my other friend and one more student i prayed for us and the people around us.

"He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it." - Titus 1:9

i left with a ton of thoughts going through my mind, wondering if anyone would hear their message and long for the joy that Christ brings me. God makes beautiful things come from anything, and although i felt satan's presence there i believe that God is always victorious. On my walk home i prayed that people would be touched, whether by them or by conversations with students like Xavier through believers like me who felt convicted to stop and participate. Our college campus is very progressive and science-based. There is also a revival happening here and it is a full-on battle. This was my first real taste of what it means to defend Jesus, and it was hard because there was truth in what was being proclaimed. So this is why God has given me a hunger for knowledge. i left campus wanting to read and know more scripture, so that i could always be prepared to give an answer.

"let us not glide through this world and slip quietly into heaven, without having blown the trumpet loud and long for our redeemer, Jesus Christ. Let us see to it that the devil will hold a thanksgiving service in Hell when he gets the news of our departure from the field of battle." - C.T. Studd