my liberating embrace.

i thought i had a lot of things figured out when i graduated high school, which i'd say isn't out of the ordinary. i thought i knew who i was, thought i was living for Jesus, thought i had fullness of joy, thought i knew a lot about the Bible, and thought i knew why i was going to college.

Well God thought i was only tiptoeing along the shore of His ocean of love so He beckoned me to run and dive in, and that's what i did. A couple nights before i left for Austin i was restless, maybe anxious; definitely not settled or confident. After trying to read and listen to music, 

i began to quietly pray.

"God, wrap me in your arms."

Over and over. It still gives me chills to say those words. God used that prayer to comfort me, heal me, quiet my nerves, strengthen my heart. Romance me.

The idea of being wrapped in the arms of my Creator is unreal to me. His hold is firm and resolute, yet gentle, gracious. i picture myself softly scooping up a baby chick or something.. and then think of how much more lovingly He does it. He's got me.

College means freedom, individuality, responsibility, exploration, growth. Diving in with reckless abandon means heading full-speed for the cross and allowing God to direct my path. i finally overcame my idol of earthly acceptance and felt satisfied in His love.

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea." - C.S. Lewis

A holiday at the sea! This is the offer i finally chose to accept, and it has been the most rewarding experience of my life. i made a promise to myself last semester which includes the statement, "i will focus on Jesus with all my heart." It's crazy how i thought i knew what that meant in high school but it looks completely different now. i'm enthralled by Him! Everything i do should stem from Love: the Spirit living in my heart that motivates me and encourages me. In the conversations i have with friends my mind relates things back to Jesus and a lot of questions have simple, clear answers to me because of the focus i strive for every day. My joy has exceeded what i ever thought imaginable, because the Lord's embrace has taught me the secret of being content no matter if i am in plenty or wanting (Philippians 4). Who knew that a true thirst for the Bible results in so much happiness and fullness. Quenching that thirst is like coming up out of God's ocean and deeply breathing in the cleanest air in the world. 

Refreshing. Vital. Free. That's why He is my liberating embrace.

Before, i loved Jesus. 
Now, i'm in love with Jesus.

Will Reagan & United Pursuit says it well in their song Through and Through.

i find that i'm safe and warm

in your loving arms.

You see me,

and you know me,

and you love me through and through.

Dear Daughter by Sara Davis, y'all. Good stuff.